1
00:00:00,856 --> 00:00:04,578
Comic Relief 2015
<b><i>B I S K U P Z D I B L E Y</i></b>

2
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Are you sure he'll be fine, Vicky?


3
00:00:12,252 --> 00:00:15,548
Sure� it's the <i>Ice Bucket Challenge</i>
<i>(washed down with cold water from a bucket)</i>

4
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,480
What can go wrong?

5
00:00:18,589 --> 00:00:20,576
Jim, it hurts me.

6
00:00:20,606 --> 00:00:22,119
What the hell is that?

7
00:00:22,149 --> 00:00:23,243
No, no, no...

8
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,759
They are my�i.

9
00:00:24,789 --> 00:00:26,276
How do we wash?

10
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Washing in a bucket.

11
00:00:31,178 --> 00:00:32,877
Are you ready?

12
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,132
Yes.

13
00:00:34,446 --> 00:00:35,465
So let's go.

14
00:00:37,374 --> 00:00:38,681
Wait a moment.

15
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Vick of Dibley,
The girl is on the phone.

16
00:00:44,351 --> 00:00:49,132
I am from Lambeth Palace
on behalf of the Archbishop of Canterbury.

17
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<i>As you know, the Church of England
accepted the concept of bishops,</i>

18
00:00:53,264 --> 00:00:55,763
<i>and I am entitled to ask,</i>

19
00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:58,650
Are you interested in this feature?

20
00:00:59,087 --> 00:01:00,401
Yes!
Yes, I really do!

21
00:01:06,156 --> 00:01:10,089
But we won't get to that, there are two
very important things.

22
00:01:10,421 --> 00:01:14,125
<i>First of all, don't tell anyone about it</i>.

23
00:01:14,155 --> 00:01:16,347
Yes, I will be a bishop.

24
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,603
Honza Biskup's wife?

25
00:01:18,633 --> 00:01:19,589
no,

26
00:01:19,619 --> 00:01:20,818
I will be a Bishop!

27
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And for the 2nd � of course � we asked others
clergy to participate

28
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a very competitive female recruiter,
we commit to that.

29
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<i>I will be honored,</i>

30
00:01:32,808 --> 00:01:36,621
Come to the hall on the 17th at 11:00.

31
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Of course with great pleasure!

32
00:01:38,927 --> 00:01:39,968
Bless me.

33
00:01:39,998 --> 00:01:42,557
And it's... Are you there? OK.

34
00:01:42,587 --> 00:01:45,194
Get the bucket, Jim.

35
00:01:53,476 --> 00:01:58,260
We decided to ask for another woman,
and he leaves.

36
00:01:58,930 --> 00:02:00,211
I am flattered.

37
00:02:00,241 --> 00:02:04,822
Of course I wrote to Fionn Bruce.
<i>(BBC report presenter)</i>

38
00:02:05,197 --> 00:02:07,101
So act fast.

39
00:02:07,131 --> 00:02:11,478
Why do you think they chose me?

40
00:02:11,508 --> 00:02:13,753
Why?

41
00:02:13,783 --> 00:02:16,707
Why is that so? Why?

42
00:02:18,448 --> 00:02:21,324
Interesting combinations are possible

43
00:02:21,354 --> 00:02:23,468
parish experience

44
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and media experiences,

45
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beautiful,

46
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but in a nice way.

47
00:02:30,144 --> 00:02:32,781
Unfeasible optimism,

48
00:02:32,811 --> 00:02:35,083
together with a fundamental positive approach.

49
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,697
Could this be it?

50
00:02:41,956 --> 00:02:43,158
Yes.

51
00:02:44,047 --> 00:02:47,786
Along with my modesty, of course.
Yes, that too.

52
00:03:01,670 --> 00:03:03,840
Bishop Geraldine.

53
00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:08,703
Hi!

54
00:03:08,733 --> 00:03:11,329
Geraldine Granger,
Prepared to be a bishop.

55
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,900
Yeah, hi, I mean... why not?

56
00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:16,740
can i

57
00:03:18,121 --> 00:03:20,500
I have to do it.
I can't resist.

58
00:03:22,409 --> 00:03:23,559
What about that?

59
00:03:23,589 --> 00:03:25,964
<i>Serve me, ... </i>.

60
00:03:26,461 --> 00:03:29,128
Do you know why they chose me?

61
00:03:29,158 --> 00:03:31,843
I have no idea.

62
00:03:32,209 --> 00:03:35,843
I was told that every candidate
it has some special qualities.

63
00:03:35,873 --> 00:03:39,764
But how did they decide in the end
for Geraldine?

64
00:03:40,202 --> 00:03:44,622
mean
<i>how will they decide in the end?</i>

65
00:03:44,909 --> 00:03:46,112
Excuse me?

66
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,880
Please enter.

67
00:03:49,737 --> 00:03:50,861
Hi.

68
00:03:50,891 --> 00:03:52,897
Reverend Pipkin.

69
00:03:52,927 --> 00:03:55,694
I'm here to apply
about the position of bishop.

70
00:03:55,724 --> 00:03:56,609
Good.

71
00:03:57,864 --> 00:03:59,903
Am I late?

72
00:04:00,217 --> 00:04:02,387
Are you sure the position hasn't already been filled?

73
00:04:02,417 --> 00:04:06,347
No, we do that after the interviews.

74
00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:07,942
Interview?

75
00:04:07,972 --> 00:04:08,805
Yes.

76
00:04:09,756 --> 00:04:10,922
Hi.

77
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,256
Hi.

78
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,436
You will wear this during ...

79
00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:16,214
No, probably not!

80
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:20,708
To tell the truth, I'm really looking forward to it.

81
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:24,721
Sometimes I think about whether to give in to it.

82
00:04:24,751 --> 00:04:27,562
So don't do it.
You're going home now.

83
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,734
I think we both know...

84
00:04:31,126 --> 00:04:34,316
They don't choose me.
No.

85
00:04:34,346 --> 00:04:35,509
Very nice.

86
00:04:36,032 --> 00:04:38,855
They choose Alice.

87
00:04:38,885 --> 00:04:40,732
Who the hell is Alice?

88
00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:44,235
Alice, good to see you.

89
00:04:44,265 --> 00:04:46,032
I thought she would be here.

90
00:04:46,062 --> 00:04:50,189
I would like an interview as soon as possible,
I don't have all day.

91
00:04:50,219 --> 00:04:52,932
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you'll be the last.

92
00:04:52,962 --> 00:04:57,534
And Jesus said: The first will be the last
and the last will be first.

93
00:04:57,873 --> 00:05:00,017
Problem solved, who are you?

94
00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:02,142
I'm Geraldine Granger,

95
00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:03,643
vikka of Dibley,

96
00:05:03,673 --> 00:05:08,282
and sometimes the presenter of non-religious documentaries,
Did you see <i>Granger in the manger?</i>

97
00:05:08,622 --> 00:05:10,347
No, at least.

98
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:15,007
And you are here as a representative
young generation, huh?

99
00:05:15,738 --> 00:05:20,501
Yes, you may have heard that the church
opens a new direction.

100
00:05:20,531 --> 00:05:23,507
Don't get me wrong
I have great respect for you.

101
00:05:23,537 --> 00:05:25,531
Soldiers become tired,

102
00:05:25,561 --> 00:05:28,406
who fought in the old days,

103
00:05:28,436 --> 00:05:30,184
drive in front of electricity,

104
00:05:30,214 --> 00:05:32,589
but wouldn't it be great
if we were young� 

105
00:05:32,619 --> 00:05:35,902
Did they lead a new generation to Christ?

106
00:05:35,932 --> 00:05:37,823
Indeed, yes.

107
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,784
You might be one of them.

108
00:05:39,814 --> 00:05:41,039
No, no...

109
00:05:41,069 --> 00:05:45,399
Yes! But I will represent you too,
when it comes to that!

110
00:05:45,876 --> 00:05:46,858
Longer.

111
00:05:48,322 --> 00:05:51,550
Here is a representative of the real youth.

112
00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,799
I'm not the youngest, am I?

113
00:05:54,218 --> 00:05:55,996
Yes, maybe yes.

114
00:05:56,026 --> 00:05:59,611
They will definitely prefer it
the old and experienced ones.

115
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:04,814
We are so grateful for your fight
in the old days.

116
00:06:05,363 --> 00:06:07,696
Don't know what exactly you're looking for?

117
00:06:07,726 --> 00:06:09,396
Young?

118
00:06:09,426 --> 00:06:10,624
Experience?

119
00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:13,814
Or imaginary chatter?

120
00:06:13,844 --> 00:06:15,095
Please?

121
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:17,774
Well, I'm trying to understand
What do we have here?

122
00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:21,437
We are forever young
exhausted,

123
00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:23,607
maybe looking for a little boost,

124
00:06:23,637 --> 00:06:25,045
some energy

125
00:06:25,075 --> 00:06:27,205
a bit of fun and silliness...

126
00:06:27,464 --> 00:06:28,976
Count with me.

127
00:06:29,006 --> 00:06:31,806
I have been without such energy for a long time.

128
00:06:32,405 --> 00:06:34,205
I didn't even know I had one.

129
00:06:34,235 --> 00:06:39,117
Not because you're the pretty girl type
 ��fast� but...

130
00:06:39,536 --> 00:06:41,705
I would like a chubby bishop.

131
00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:44,738
I'm going to a political show

132
00:06:44,768 --> 00:06:46,490
demonstrate in the streets.

133
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,372
Close things up.

134
00:06:48,402 --> 00:06:50,321
A� The bishop even jokes,

135
00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:53,378
not just to look funny.

136
00:06:53,665 --> 00:06:54,816
Excuse me?

137
00:06:54,846 --> 00:06:58,110
To dare and get involved.

138
00:06:58,140 --> 00:06:58,982
Yes!

139
00:06:59,012 --> 00:07:00,942
Where is the case...

140
00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:03,618
can you see the future?

141
00:07:05,021 --> 00:07:07,897
Bishop at your service.

142
00:07:08,426 --> 00:07:09,758
Bernard.

143
00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:11,641
Good luck.

144
00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:13,990
The less, the better.

145
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,824
I think so.

146
00:07:16,295 --> 00:07:17,477
Hi Iris!

147
00:07:17,763 --> 00:07:19,511
What's going on here, baby?

148
00:07:19,541 --> 00:07:23,391
Nice to see you, you are my idol.

149
00:07:23,421 --> 00:07:24,306
Of course.

150
00:07:24,336 --> 00:07:26,162
Alice, you're in trouble.

151
00:07:26,192 --> 00:07:29,430
You're here for someone who fell in school
Queen Victoria.

152
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,616
Mavis!

153
00:07:31,609 --> 00:07:34,067
Oldest reverend of the kingdom,

154
00:07:34,097 --> 00:07:36,211
from the childhood of the queen.

155
00:07:37,126 --> 00:07:40,812
Who do we have in the corner, <i>Miss Mouse.</i>

156
00:07:40,842 --> 00:07:42,638
I am Geraldine Granger.

157
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:47,449
Discuss what we offer to the church,

158
00:07:47,479 --> 00:07:49,985
and its concept is that it offers

159
00:07:50,015 --> 00:07:51,501
courage.

160
00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:57,364
Well done!

161
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:02,998
A sense of humor, I mean
That's your trump card.

162
00:08:04,613 --> 00:08:06,387
A little big girl

163
00:08:06,417 --> 00:08:09,681
use humor, same as card
<i>Released from prison</i>.

164
00:08:09,711 --> 00:08:11,511
Tell me a joke.

165
00:08:12,265 --> 00:08:13,311
Hi?

166
00:08:13,341 --> 00:08:17,337
You are very funny, so tell me a joke.

167
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,977
How about a blind nun...

168
00:08:28,081 --> 00:08:29,436
Jokes like <i>�uk-�uk</i>.

169
00:08:30,045 --> 00:08:34,748
The whole point of the matter is that this situation
it is fun. That's the joke.

170
00:08:35,031 --> 00:08:36,883
Because if we were men,

171
00:08:36,913 --> 00:08:39,027
we would be bishops.

172
00:08:39,057 --> 00:08:40,334
I�m right.

173
00:08:40,364 --> 00:08:43,576
We are in this absurd situation

174
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,699
in which we have to choose one of us.

175
00:08:45,729 --> 00:08:46,637
Oh no.

176
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:49,345
I should have told you that.

177
00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:52,325
The archbishop appoints

178
00:08:52,355 --> 00:08:54,574
Today 5 bishop�.

179
00:08:54,604 --> 00:08:55,912
Really?
Yes.

180
00:08:55,942 --> 00:08:57,512
But there are five of us here.

181
00:08:57,542 --> 00:08:59,599
There are five here.

182
00:08:59,629 --> 00:09:01,272
So does that mean?
Yes!

183
00:09:03,755 --> 00:09:05,426
Here he put them��.

184
00:09:13,285 --> 00:09:16,031
Nice to see you.

185
00:09:22,154 --> 00:09:24,429
I heard well that we will have 5 players,

186
00:09:24,459 --> 00:09:26,044
and one loser?

187
00:09:26,074 --> 00:09:29,396
I see the ladder, where is the laser...?

188
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,346
And the best one wins.

189
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,267
Good evening Bishop, how did it go?

190
00:09:37,297 --> 00:09:37,973
P�esta�.

191
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,891
Archbishop, how are you?

192
00:09:42,921 --> 00:09:44,851
Shut up.

193
00:09:44,881 --> 00:09:48,538
We are all very proud.
Tell me, how did it turn out?

194
00:09:48,568 --> 00:09:53,220
Listen, idiot, it's clear how it turned out.

195
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:55,624
I didn't get the job
I was rejected.

196
00:09:55,654 --> 00:09:58,345
I'm not pretty enough
quite new

197
00:09:58,375 --> 00:10:00,933
I'm not old enough
nice chubby

198
00:10:00,963 --> 00:10:04,185
I'm not funny enough
and not enough <i>B�je�n�</i> either.

199
00:10:04,215 --> 00:10:06,019
I am ``completely ordinary''.

200
00:10:06,049 --> 00:10:10,695
And so I'm going to stick with this shitty job
in this fucked up village.

201
00:10:10,725 --> 00:10:12,020
To that...

202
00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:13,679
We had a test with...

203
00:10:15,106 --> 00:10:17,156
Bishop!

204
00:10:19,084 --> 00:10:22,633
Allow me to introduce you to a new…

205
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,227
vikka from Dibley.

206
00:10:24,881 --> 00:10:26,450
Hi.

207
00:10:26,972 --> 00:10:28,542
Nice to meet you.

208
00:10:31,290 --> 00:10:32,776
And you will?

209
00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:33,927
Yes.

210
00:10:33,957 --> 00:10:35,747
Geraldine Granger's...

211
00:10:35,777 --> 00:10:37,133
unemployed.

212
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:39,188
It will be closed.


